Tag Archive | leadership

Greener grass

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I started my new job approximately a month ago. I am energized, excited, happy, and hopeful. These are positive feelings which bode well for my new start.   This is my 22nd year in secondary education.   It is my first year as principal.    During the summer, my friend, fitness and leadership guru @dymeetworld (find her on Instagram!) posted that “the grass is greener under me.” I really liked that post and idea. So often, when we change jobs, end relationships or move locations, we do so out of the feeling that the grass will be greener in a different situation. The grass can be green, yellow, or non-existent, no matter where you go.

My mindset is what I bring to every experience I have. I go into a new situation with an open mind and hopeful heart. To be happy is an action, not a feeling. It’s not about feeling bitterness and resentment about the past; it’s about challenging me to take new opportunities. I consistently aim to be my best self.  The grass is always going to be greener because I’m always looking for the best in even the darkest situation. I feel lighter. I feel free. I feel younger.  My last experience prepared me well for the job I now hold. No hay mal que por bien no venga. All experiences are for my growth and progress. Change moves me forward.  The grass is green underneath me.

*Thanks, dear friend, for sharing your positivity and wisdom with us. You will continue to inspire me in this new phase of my career.

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Killing the Girl

Game of Thrones is now informing my take on leadership. In the past, The Exorcist was a touchstone to which I always returned.  Game of Thrones provides food for thought in every episode. All kinds of leaders are in action, some evil, some righteous. Different decisions are made and some thoughtful, some poor, some made with the help of advisors while others are made by the leader on her or his own.  While it is a fictional fantasy and therefore full of extreme examples, the show does provide lessons to be learned.

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In Season 5, Episode 5, “Kill the Boy,” bae Jon Snow has become the new Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch. Jon consults the Maester because Jon trusts him as one of the few people of integrity to whom he can turn. The Maester is over 100 years old, blind, and frail. He is not vying for power and has been loyal to Jon.  Jon appreciates his wisdom. The Maester knows a lot about the world. He’s an actual Targaryen but he renounced being part of the noble family to join the Night’s Watch.  So Jon seeks his counsel on a decision he has to make. As a new leader, Jon has already been questioned about his strength in leadership. Even when he was still a steward, Jon was mistreated for several reasons. As a bastard, he is on the lower end of the social ladder. However, because he grew up in a noble family, he is perceived as a spoiled rich kid. Though the Maester points out that Jon did not need to consult him, he offers this observation, “You will find little joy in your command, but with luck, you’ll find the strength to do what needs to be done. Kill the boy…and let the man be born.”  I liked these words so much I scribbled them on a notepad and I now carry with me to work.

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Another part of the conversation between Jon and the Maester involves the response to a decision. Jon feels half the men will disagree.  The Maester reminds him that half the men already do. In leadership and in life, there are always people who are difficult or divisive, those who breed drama or foster negativity. People will doubt me or want to get in the way of change; they woke up that way (and not looking like Beyoncé either!) I will have to deal with those situations in a way that will sit right with my values and with who I am.

Recently, I was reflecting with a friend who is new to educational leadership. I had previously shared with him my ideal of leadership with integrity. I know the reality is going to be difficult. I know I will struggle to be assertive and confrontational. I want to strive for my ideal. I want to lead in a way that when I get home to my family, I will feel good about a decision I made. Feeling good doesn’t mean jumping for joy. It doesn’t mean I won’t hurt feelings or compromise my “popularity.” I’m not leading to be liked. I’m not leading because it’s easy. I’m leading for a greater purpose and that is to serve young people.  Whatever decision I make has to be one my students deserve.

Like Jon Snow, I’m entering a new phase in my life. I’m excited about being the Lord Commander and feel ready to kill the girl.

Goal met

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Over the years, I have been successful in attaining my professional goals.  I have been thoughtful about finding opportunities that match my skill set, my vision, and my goals. Then I pursue those opportunities. I have continued to succeed.

I began this piece nearly a month ago when I received a phone call following a series of job interviews. During my reflection, I spoke to the power of believing in myself. I used to doubt everything I did, said, and thought. I felt like a victim. Then I had enough.  I made sure my life would be different. It took many tears, moments of anger,  lots of soul-searching but I made it happen and will continue to do so.  I am committed to becoming the best version of myself each and every day. I owe that to my God, my family, and myself. I won’t ever go back to the way things were.

I know I will struggle. I will continue to experience doubt, anxiety, and fear. I’m not weak and I will not lose any fight. I will succeed.  So I am proud to say I got the job.  Now I can truly say I’m a leader.

For hire

0x600Twenty five minutes for 10 questions. Why do we expect potential employees to explain themselves and qualification and show their leadership potential with two and a half minutes per broad question?  It is difficult, even for someone who considers herself good with words, to convey who I am in a very short amount of time. It’s easy to look great on paper or to look good in an interview or a demo lecture. It’s in the day-to-day work that true efficiency and/or talent can be witnessed.

I have worked with people who gave great interviews and turned out to be terrible.  I have also worked with excellent speakers who turned out to be great employees. As with anything, whether it’s an interview or a first date, the outcome will depend on the people and circumstances involved.  Are you what the other party seeking?  Is the other party what you seek?  Do you know what you want and expect? Can you communicate those expectations? It is not an easy process and sometimes feels unnatural.

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I’m good with words but words have to be followed with actions. You have to live what you say. I know someone who is constantly promising all the changes that will be made. This person has not changed. This person is behaving in exactly the same way as usual. One of my professional mentors has pointed out that people always show us who they are. How do we react?

I constantly reflect on the difference between being proactive and reactive. We are always going to be reactive. We have to ensure safety so we are always going to react when someone’s actions are inappropriate, unsafe, or unacceptable. We have the choice to be proactive. From the first sign of problems, we have the power to decide we will not invest further time and energy into a situation.  I believe in second chances; hell, I’ve given people dozens of chances. As an aspiring leader, I have to decide if my workplace will be the land of a thousand chances.

As for me, I know that if given an opportunity, I will strive to not disappoint. If I make a mistake, I will rectify the situation. I stand by that.

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