We have a few more days of 2007. But I am alone in my office, after 6pm, on the day before Christmas break. The boys lost the soccer game and the varsity b-ballers have probably already started against our crosstown rivals. The new teachers’ evaluations were put in the hands of the assistant supe. My baby, Blues, is due to visit Sunday. I’m supposed to be back at work supervising the b-ball game at 7pm. But right now, I enjoy the quiet. Nothing but me, a custodian opening doors somewhere down the hallway, my fingers tapping the keyboard. When the kids return, it will be a new year.
An entire lifetime can change in seconds, minutes. I’ve lived it several times but in 07, I truly felt it. On my desk, I have a Gumby and Pokey I’ve had since I walked these halls as a student. I’m not that girl anymore. I’m not even the woman I was this time last year. When I declared 07 my year, I didn’t know everything inside my head and heart would change like it has. But I am grateful.
There are times when this job makes my head ache, when I want to turn off the computer and leave behind the cluttered busyness indefinitely. But my work is one of my passions. I love these kids, my community, my colleagues. I went from baby of the family to a self-proclaimed Obi-Wan Kenobi, an only hope for a school reeling from a complete change in leadership. I’m stronger now, in all aspects of my life. I won’t quit. I will stand strong and I will make an impact on this place that shaped me.
I’ve earned this break.
I’ve earned my joy.