What follows is a lengthy transcription of the audiotape I made early in the morning of August 15th. The dreams seem at first a patchwork of images, but then seem sewn together in tone and theme. Some revisions have been made in order to give the narrative more fluency and focus.
Wednesday, August 15, 1:30 in the morning
I had a dream where I was part of a team. We were pulling things together, recycling paper and cans. I can’t remember who else was there or whether or not this dream was connected to another dream where someone was reconciled with a person from their past and had a big party. I don’t remember if my Play Brother was in the dream but the team felt cohesive.
I gotta try to remember my dreams better.
Had a wild dream in which me and Hopeful or me and Lisa were at a camp where dogs wore outfits. There was a sea of dogs: coonhounds, Chihuahuas. Maybe it was me and my Sis in law. Or Innocent. Anyways I recognize the place. Strange.
I had another dream where I was with my parents. We missed a plane. The stewardess was ignoring us because we were late getting on. We stood there for 10 minutes with tickets in hand. That’s old school because now you find your own seats. There were many seats available.
“We’re really sleepy,” I told the flight attendant.
“We’ll drop you off.” They drove the plane to the terminal and we got out.
“What the hell?” I went up to the counter. “They just dropped us off here.”
“Oh well. They’re taking off for Greenwich.”
“What do you mean they’re going to Greenwich? We’re supposed to be on that plane. We want to catch that plane.”
We’re set up for takeoff.”
“That’s not cool. They left us on purpose because we said we were sleepy. It was all her fault. She ignored us.” I wanted to yell at them but we ended up renting a car to come back to Northern California. I got sick with a fever and ended up lying in a bed at my parents’ house. Now my old bed has been taken apart so it couldn’t be that but I felt like I was in my old room. I was resting when I had a premonition. I pictured an old plane, actually it looked more like a zeppelin, very 70s with brown earth tone stripes. The plane struggled along near the Hayward Airport.
“They shouldn’t be in that plane.Something is going to happen to that plane. It’s going to crash.” I didn’t say this aloud but I was thinking it. I wanted to speak but was unable to do so. It reminded me of the bad panic attack I had in Nashville when there were so many things I wanted to say but I was so afraid to say them and they were bottled up inside.
As I was having the vision, my parents were having a conversation right over me. I watched the plane jerk and sink right down into Hesperian Blvd. The explosion happened in real life with a boom.
“What the hell was that?” My parents were startled.
“Oh my God. It’s happening again.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I saw that plane crash before it happened.”
“It’s happening again.”
It’s a reference to when I was a kid. When I was 12 and all those problems happened, with my father losing his job, I would have dreams that would come true. They weren’t always explicitly premonitions. They were symbolic at times. They happened on such a regular basis that my mom began to wonder if I wasn’t gifted with precognition. We haven’t talked about that in a long time.
Anyway, I finally got the strength to get out of the bed. My parents came with me because I was freaking out.
“How many people are dead?” We got outside. Hesperian is a busy street and it was a Saturday afternoon. The ambulance, the fire trucks, and the news crews had already arrived. All traffic was stopped. People were running around. It was terrifying. Yet I felt numb.
I also had a dream where we were at a party hosted by a DJ Jaime Coronacion, Music 2 Life. It was some kind of Filipino culture night. Someone who looked like my friend Troubadour was breakdancing.
There was a dream where I was walking through a building with many stories and concrete steps. I was hoping to see my Play Brother. I looked for him. I couldn’t find him. I was looking for someone else, too. I couldn’t find him.
I just woke up from a dream that had its bad moments. We took Lucky for a walk. We left Lula at the house with my sis in law. Lucky was being good but he kept breaking free from his leash so I had to hold him by his collar. He calmed down so we put him back on leash. We got to our old elementary school. A woman walked up with her golden lab, off-leash, and carrying a football. As soon as Lucky saw it, he went nuts. He broke free and was ready to charge. I hugged him. He calmed down so we took him to my mom’s. I apologized to him for not walking him and said it was my fault. Everyone was surprised at how calm he was.
This shows that I have a lot of guilt over my dogs. There’s a message that the love I’ve established is solid and that there’s loyalty.
I don’t know what’s going on with my mind. It’s starting to be cleansed. I’m mining my mind, exploring that vast continent. I haven’t dreamt like this in a long time, all these dreams full of vivid imagery and action.