The alarm went off around 7 this morning. I had plans to get to 9am Mass with my family. After last night’s indulgence in food and merengue(no alcohol, though, guess that Lenten fast has depleted my craving for it), I feel a little dizzy and nauseous. In all honesty, I’m finding mornings difficult lately. Ever since I got home from Nashville, rising just is not the same.
My depression is waning. The negative thoughts that once ruled my mind are few and far between and balanced alternative thoughts take their place. I look for evidence. I go back to affirmations. My daily mood scales have been consistently high and my daily activity log shows that the negative moods connected with certain activities are practically gone. Then there are recent memories. These are what make my mornings harder, if only in that I’m moving a lot more slowly than usual.
So, today, I stayed in bed. Closed my eyes but could not sleep. Hugged my pillow because I can’t hug the man I miss. And remembered.