“I love men! I love all of them, be they black, white, or tan. I love men. Let me say it again. I love men. I love men. I love men.”
Celebrities may come and go but beautiful men go on forever. In their honor, I pay homage to those men serving up face, body, and personality for me(and many others).
*Nick Cannon: Yeah you know you think he’s cute. Maybe it’s his smile, his self-effacing humor, or his boy-next-door-on-the-block appeal.
*Jose Canseco: Sure he’s a jerk. But he showed his feminine side on The Surreal Life and he still has that lovely baseball player physique.
*Jake Gyllenhall: Supposedly he’s treating Kirsten Dunst badly. While he creeped me out in his early work(Donnie Darko, The Good Girl, his star turn in The Day After Tomorrow as a noble honor student makes me eager to see his critically acclaimed love scenes with Heath Ledger in his next Oscar-buzzed movie.
10, 9, and 8: These men are like wine and get better with age: George Clooney, Andy Garcia, and Jimmy Smits. The former were back to their mortal enemy high-jinks in Europe in Ocean’s 12 while the latter is running for Prez on The West Wing. These guys make me want to bump up my age limit while personals cruising.
7. Benjamin Bratt: Still the most gorgeous Peruvian I know. I hear his new TV show is horrible but he won’t ever look it.
6. Denzel Washington: He took my breath away onstage on Broadway and I’m sure he’ll come out with another great movie. Like the other OGs, he looks wonderful as ever.
5. Daddy Yankee: Who knew a Nuyorican kid in a baseball cap could be so sexy? Is it the bad boy edge or the reggaeton beats?
4. Alejandro Sanz: No wonder Shakira chose this papasote for her hot duet, “La Tortura.” He makes you want to buy those tired macho man lines he has in that song.
3. Gael Garcia Bernal: So he looks better than I do in a sparkly dress and lipstick and burnt up the screen in gay love scenes in La Mala Educacion. The tiger-eyed Mexicano became my 3rd husband this year.
2. Orlando Bloom: The face that launched a thousand Troy DVD sales. Sporting a Yank accent in tomorrow’s Elizabethtown, he’s been dubbed our generation’s Errol Flynn. I know there’s an actor in there somewhere but in the meantime, I’ll keep staring.
1. John Cho: Who knew a Korean Cal English major with a rock band would dethrone all of my past husbands? From his photo-licking raunchiness in the American Pie movies to the neurotic straight-edge everyman(with an intriguing Latina love jones) in Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle, the baby-faced actor is sure to prove Asian men need not be martial artists to be hot.
As the fierce tranny growled in La Ley del Deseo,”Ay, que calor!”